The Power of Kindness.

Our 5 year old, Jonathan, has been a been a bit on the grumpy side.

 He's usually very happy and an encourager, but I'm sad to say that I haven't seen that side of him much lately.  As I've been thinking about his behavior and seeking wisdom from God as to how to change it, this verse came to mind.

"Don't you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can't you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?"  Romans 2:4

God's kindness leads to our repentance.  If God's kindness draws us to repentance, shouldn't mine draw my own son?  So today, with this verse fresh in my mind, I decided to try something different.  Instead of fussing at Jonathan and punishing him with a swat on the rear, time out or no game time, I decided to give him a hug.  Every time he disobeyed me or reacted harshly toward someone, I hugged the little guy and I told him I loved him and I whispered the correction in his ear.  I even got the person he offended to hug him.  And guess what...He's had the best day, behavior wise, that he's had in many days.

Ashley

Waiting for Thursday.

One.more.day and Thursday will be here.  Pay day!  We paid off the tuition for Classical Conversations this month.  That took a lot of the money we needed for this month, but it was the right decision.  We've hunkered down and have done everything possible to make our money last and not charge or borrow money.

Stephen can probably tell you a hundred different ways to use rice and what foods go best wrapped in lettuce.  I even found you tube videos opened on his computer showing different ways to make ramen noodles.  I can tell you that honey and vanilla, separately, make good substitutions for chocolate milk.  Just be sure you put it in a colored sippy cup so the picky two year old doesn't see that it isn't brown.  If you get caught, just add cocoa, but I'll warn you that it clumps up in cold milk.  I've learned how to ration diapers and how to do the math in order to spend the least amount to get you through the next two days until pay day.  I've learned to not buy Wal-mart brand diapers because the tabs don't stay put and they make way for plenty of accidents.  I've learned that going the discount bread store is MUCH cheaper than buying bread-stuff from the grocery store and they also have 2 half-off days each week.  I learned not to buy 6 small cups of water at McDonald's because the twins won't even drink theirs.  Take sippy cups for them.  And don't even by 4 for you and the other 3 kids.  Just buy 1 medium, which is in fact the same price as a small($.25) and share it.  If the kids don't like it, they can fix their own drink at home.  I've learned that drinking water also cuts your bill way down at eat in restaurants and that most of the time a plate is packed with enough food to feed two people (and sometimes 5 kids) and you'll be just as full if you and your spouse share and/or make the kids share.  I also learned that a large chicken finger plate will usually feed all five of the older kids, except at Cracker Barrel.  I've learned that my kids really are content staying at home and I'm the one who is the most discontent.  I've been able to save at least $120 in the past two weeks by having more people over and not driving as much.  Homeschooling all the kids definitely helps this!  I've learned to enjoy being at home and how to relax in my own home when there's nothing scheduled for the kids and their all over the place.  I've learned that anti-bacterial hand soap works just as well for washing dishes, just not forever.  I've learned to cut all my kids' hair and do a pretty good job.  I've learned that I'm hot-natured and the air conditioner is not a place I'm willing to cut back.

I've learned that God blesses obedience.  The money didn't show up in one big bundle, but the Lord blessed us little by little as we needed it.  I've learned that it does our children good for us to communicate with them about money.  When they want something and we can't afford it, we lovingly suggest that they buy it with their own money and they either realize that they can wait or they don't really need it.  This has been good for us and good for them.  It's been good for our hearts and our character.   I've learned that my heart is still so full of sin and sometimes it takes the hard times to bring that out so that God can force me to deal with it and do His wonderful work in me.

Ashley

A time to be UNbusy.

Even though we're a homeschooling family, we are very busy.  That doesn't mean we're gone all the time, but it does mean that we have a schedule that we stick to in order to get everything done around here that needs to be done.  The TV doesn't come on until later in the afternoon, if at all, and doesn't stay on for a long time.  When I got up this morning, I quickly realized it would need to be an UN busy day.  I felt weak, achy and nauseous.  Once all the kids got up I realized that two year old Drew and 7 month old Natalie were also feeling under the weather.  Natalie was snotty and both were very clingy. 

After the older kids did their morning chores, I put the twins in their room as usual to play.  We got started with school and after a short while I noticed it got really quiet in the twins room.  That usually means that they've fallen asleep, which is what I don't want that early in the day.  A quick peek confirmed what I suspected.  Drew had fallen asleep.  Since by this time the older kids were doing writing, I woke Drew and let the twins out.  I decided to forget about the other work that we usually do, turned on our Classical Conversations memory work cd and let it play in the back ground.  I sat on my favorite green couch, which is in the dining room where the kids do their school work, and Drew snuggled up beside me.  The kids cheerfully finished their writing and went their own way throughout the house to play quietly with eachother.  Wait, did I say "cheerfully and quietly?"  I did!  Maybe they were feeling a little off, too:).  Natalie played at my feet and our morning unfolded into a beautiful harmony of peace and joy.

I learned there's most definitely a time to work, but there's also a time to rest and it's important that we recognize when that is and act on it.

Ashley

On the last day of school, Stephen and I took the kids to a nearby park for a picnic and to celebrate the end of school.  I took along my favorite picnic blanket (which I no longer have because I absent mindedly put it into the dryer and it melted) and took some fun shots of NattieB and the big kids.  She was 4 months old then.  I meant to post these pictures when I took them in May, but I never got around to it.  So here they are today.

Ashley

When They Don't Want to Work

Many mornings my kids grumble and complain when it's time to do school work.  It's frustrating and sometimes I don't feel like doing school either, but I remind them that this is our responsibility and we must do it whether or not we feel like it.  I also remind them of Philippians 2:14,

                                       "Do everything without complaining or arguing."

When I'm faced with their bad moods, bad attitudes and sour faces I first stop and remember that I am their cheerleader and encourager.  I have to change my attitude first.  Then, if gentle reminders don't work, I have a few tricks up my sleeve that I resort to.

Positive reinforcement
When I see them working instead of whining, I praise them and make a big deal out of it.  When they complete a hard problem that they whined about, I use words like "genius" and "brilliant" and I give them high fives, hugs and/or kisses.  They love that and it almost always gives them the boost they need to finish their work.  It's important that I do this early on when they're working in order to boost their confidence right out of the gate and give them the tools they need to do their other work with a good attitude.

They don't get what they want.
If they can't do their work with a happy heart and they continue to have a bad attitude, I take things away.  I tell them that if they can't give me what I want from them, they don't get what they want from me.  Some examples are something other than water at lunch (this works well with Sam), some of my left over morning coffee (this works well with Susan), Play Station (Jonathan), computer (a good one for all of them, especially Sam who likes to play it during nap time, but rarely gets to).  Sometimes, I'll even use play dates if we have one scheduled.  I save that for a really bad day, though, because I need the play dates just as much as they do.

Suffer natural consequences.
If they don't get their work done when they are supposed to, they do their work during play time and miss out on the fun stuff.  I rarely have this trouble with Susan and Jonathan.  Once, Susan had horrible behavior and was constantly fussy and whiny, so instead of fighting her, I had her go to her room.  She did her work after nap time, while the boys got to play.  She got the message.  Even though she wasn't happy, she did her work quickly so she could go play.  Sam gets distracted easily and often has give up some of his quiet time to get his work done.

I totally intend on sharing pictures and talking photography, but this is where I am right now.  I want share this stuff while it's fresh on my mind in hopes of helping other moms who may, or eventually will, be going through the same thing.

Ashley

Homeschooling with 6

It's 1:45 in the afternoon.  After a short rest, I'm up to blog and then wash dishes.  As I sit down at the computer Sam comes into the den and sits on the couch with his bag of action figures.  I remind him in a hushed voice, "No sound affects."  He nods and looks over at Nattie who is passed out in her swing with her head turned up and to the left, her mouth wide open.  I still have to remind him, several times, to be quiet.  We don't know how long this quiet time will last.  We'll go to the park soon to play and get out of the house.  I'll also run a few errands during this time.

We started back to school last week so that we would be on the same schedule as Daddy who teaches Special Education at a school nearby.  Today was a good day, school wise.  I was up by 6:15 to read my Bible, have some quiet time and get showered and dressed.  Some days it's hard to get up early and I end up sleeping in.  Those tend to be lighter days and the kids are allowed to do one subject on an app on my iPod.  Stephen was out of the house by 6:30.  The kids all woke up on their own before 7:15, so they ate and got dressed and did their chores.  We were able to start with school by 8:30.  The twins go in their room to play for an hour and watch something on the computer for the second hour.  We started with Math.  They have an hour.  I set the clock and the kids have to work alone for the first 20 minutes.  This is when I feed Natalie.  She lays down for a morning nap shortly after.  I encourage the kids to read their own directions and do what they can until it's time for me to help them.  Jonathan was done within the 20 minutes, so he happily (and quietly) went to the den and played with his toys that he can only play with when 2 year old Ben isn't around or else there's lots of arguing, crying and fighting.  I helped Susan with her work for 10 minutes and then Sam.  When the hour was up, everyone was back at the table for English and writing (Sam), phonics, writing and spelling (Susan) and writing and phonics (Jonathan).  Whatever they don't finish within each hour, they have to finish after lunch.  We do our reading at night when Daddy's home.  Each older child will take turns reading to themselves, me, Daddy and a sibling.  Our co-op, which we will start next week, will cover all the other stuff.

When school is finished, we eat lunch.  Natalie is up and playing by now.  The older kids are great at watching her while I'm busy in the kitchen.  Today, however, I had to wear her in the carrier.  The kids play together or on their own until nap time.  The twins then go down for a nap, I feed Natalie, Sam reads to Jonathan and any unfinished work gets completed.  Nattie, Susan, Jonathan and I lay down.  Sam finishes work and has quiet time.  After nap/quiet time is when we have play dates or go out.  Today we're going to the park.  Speaking of the park, I need to go.

This is how we home school with six kids.  As the littles change, however, so must our schedule and I revisit it as needed and figure out what needs to be taken out or added. 

Ashley

A teachable moment.

Susan visited with a friend Sunday afternoon.  They played together for a while at the girl's house, then went to a movie.  When she got home I asked her how her time went with her friend.  She told me it was "a little bad" because her friend was being bossy and possessive.  Later she made some signs that read, "I wish I had friends that would be nice and not bossy.  Please be nice." She put them up around the house.

As all this was happening I remembered a time when the Lord revealed to me that He cares even more for my children's wants and needs than I do.  That revelation took the pressure off me to fix things for them, so I prayed that God would give her godly friends that she would feel safe and loved around.  Last night I read Phil. 4:6-7 to the kids during our family devotional and reminded them that we can go to God with all our worries, cares and desires and trust him to answer our prayers.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,
present your requests to God.   And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:6-7



Ashley